Weightless

Manage me, I'm a mess
Turn a page, I'm a book half-unread
I wanna be laughed at, laughed with just because
I wanna feel weightless, and that should be enough.

But I'm stuck in this fucking rut
waiting on a secondhand pick-me-up
and I'm over, getting older

If I could just find the time
then I would never let another day go by
I'm over, getting old

And maybe it's not my weekend
but it's gonna be my year
And I'm so sick of watching while the minutes pass as I go nowhere
And this is my reaction to everything I fear
'Cause I've been going crazy I don't wanna waste another minute here.

Make believe that I impress
that every word by design turns a head
I wanna feel reckless
Wanna live it up just because (just because)
I wanna feel weightless 'cause that would be enough

^^^ Lyrics from a song called Weightless by All Time Low.

A song that pretty much describes me.

Reminiscing about the past can be fun. But not always. Its funny what you realise you miss and you start wondering if things could have been different. I guess all things get a second chance. Its also weird what you find yourself missing and when you realise that you might not be the only person missing it. =/

Sometimes I feel so alone that I cant handle all the emotions that come from it. I need something and maybe im just starting to realise what that something is. I was so happy at one point recently and then that happiness evaporated and I found myself slipping back into the same old routines. Maybe the change was my fault. I know I can be overbaring, but maybe it wasnt completely my fault? I dunno. I feel strangly hazzy and fuzzy. Something has awakened inside me that I havent felt in a while.
Maybe I should go to sleep but I dont want to. I want to be awake to feel. Because I feel alive and I havent felt like this in a long time. Is it wrong to say that I miss it so much that sometimes I wonder if things could ever be that way again?

I do miss it, so much, Im gonna hold out hope that things might change

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